i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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