Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
