she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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