Only a mothe r could love this liver
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
