im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
