best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Brb crying the tears of my youth
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
