clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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