"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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