marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
