Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
