She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize