I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
