trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
