My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
