am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
