I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
