Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
