: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
