Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
