What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
