nut hugger
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
