she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
