babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize