@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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