its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
did i just pee glitter
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
