Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
