i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
