check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
