I cockslap morals
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
