Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
