heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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