And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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