I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
