FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize