another moral hangover. fuck.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
