Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
