whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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