the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
