You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
