I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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