Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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