I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
