I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
