Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it hurts more in the daytime
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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