you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
