this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
