If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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