And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
