She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize