im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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