oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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