Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
