Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
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