My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize