We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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