On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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