I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
