Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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