i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
