party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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