I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
