Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
