Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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