he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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