I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
