whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
