Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm like, not good at living.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
