LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize