my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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