It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
