Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The air was thick with penises
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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