When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
