Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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