i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
