the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
