Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
