sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
