Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
