if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
